Can't own nonsense in the state of.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to have any worthless substance during staying inside the great state of. No waste in my possession, unfortunately.
Sadly, I am unable to acquire any feces in Ohio. No waste available around here, unfortunately. No rubbish to have within Ohio.
Alas, I can't possess the capability to obtain any crap whilst staying in Ohio. No garbage available in this region, unfortunately. I am without any substance inside OH.
Alas, it is not within my capabilities to obtain a single waste while located in Ohio. No garbage available in this area, sadly. I can't possess any substance in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, unfortunately I am unable to possess even the smallest amount of waste during staying inside the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of substance within Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to have the slightest bit of feces during living in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, regrettably. I have no means to have any excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am incapable to possess the slightest bit of waste while living inside Ohio. No waste to be found here, unfortunately. I am unable to obtain any material in the great state of Ohio.