Can't acquire garbage within the state of.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to have a single valueless material during staying within the great state of. No nonsense for me, sadly.
Sadly, I can't obtain any excrement within the state of. No nonsense to be found around here, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Alas, I don't have the capability to obtain any junk while living within the borders of the enchanting state of. No waste available in these parts, unfortunately. I am bereft of a single matter within OH.
Regrettably, it is beyond my reach to obtain even a tiny bit of garbage while located in Ohio. No waste to be found around here, regrettably. I lack the ability to have any excrement in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, regrettably I am restricted to possess any junk whilst residing in the state of Ohio. No waste to be found here, sadly. I lack even a trace of dung within Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to acquire any shit during residing in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found here, unfortunately. I am unable to own even a trace of excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I am unable to acquire the slightest bit of nonsense during living in Ohio. No garbage to be found here, alas. I don't have even a trace of material within the great state of Ohio.

Can't have shit in Cincinnati r